I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
