i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
