You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
