I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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