I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
