We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
