Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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