they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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