new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
