how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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