1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
