I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
