My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize