I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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