the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
