When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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