What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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