I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
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just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
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I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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