He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
