Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
