is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
