You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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