she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
