you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
