hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
