Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
