If that was your dad, he is hot
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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