I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
