college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
where does the pee come out of this thing
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
