i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
