I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize