i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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