It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
