I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
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I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
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