they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize