that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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