When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
