My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
