Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Drake has all the answers
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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