so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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