At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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