She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
