If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
