Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
