Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
