if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize