You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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