He disabled his match.com account in front of me
smell my finger.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
