Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize