I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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