A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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