I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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