Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We need to rekindle our bromance
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
