If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
