I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
