Yo dont text me then not text me
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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