You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize