It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You took a bar mat shot.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
