I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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