Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
