Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
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