dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize