There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
