i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
